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  • catherinejdietrich

What to do when your nanny isn't working out



Finding the perfect nanny for your family can be a daunting and difficult task. But even after you think you’ve found the perfect fit, sometimes things don’t work out, and you find yourself needing to make a change. When things don’t work out with a nanny, it can be a stressful and overwhelming situation for everybody involved - the parents, the children and also the nanny herself.


So, what do you do to navigate the situation? Here are some practical tips to help parents find a way through and - if necessary - end things on a positive note.


First and foremost, it’s important to remember that this situation is not a personal attack on you, your parenting or the nanny. If a nanny isn’t working out, it doesn’t mean anybody has done anything wrong – it’s simply a case of personality and fit. Take a deep breath, and read on for some practical tips on what to do when your nanny isn’t working out.


Talk to the nanny about your concerns

If the nanny isn’t working out, there may be some underlying issues that you’re unaware of. The first step is an open line of communication. Perhaps the nanny is unhappy, or they are uncomfortable with the family. Or perhaps they simply aren’t getting along with your children and vice versa. Whatever the case, it’s best to talk to the nanny about any concerns you have. Don’t get defensive or accusatory – simply and kindly ask how you can work together to improve the situation. This may help you and your nanny find clarity about where the difficulties are. If she is unhappy or uncomfortable in the role, you may need to end the relationship. But if she simply needs some help adjusting, you may be able to work it out.

Create an action plan

If you’ve talked to the nanny and you’re still having issues, it may be time to part ways. But before you do, create an action plan. The last thing you want is to terminate your relationship and then be stuck without anyone to care for your children. Create an action plan that includes details like a timeline for finding a replacement nanny and a plan for care in the meantime.



Refrain from making negative comments

When you’re parting ways with a nanny, it can be easy to fall into making negative or critical comments. But it’s important to refrain, and keep in mind that you interviewed and hired this person, so you must have seen something good in them in the first place. Simply inform the nanny that you’ve decided they need to go and provide them with a reference letter.


Document the situation

It’s important to document as much as possible. If there are specific issues causing you concern, make a note of them. If there are certain expectations you have which the nanny isn’t meeting, keep a record. This will help you to substantiate your decision to part ways with the nanny. If you need to terminate the nanny’s employment, this documentation will also help you to protect yourself and your family from legal action or complaints from the nanny.


Seek out resources and advice

If you’re struggling to end a nanny relationship, reach out to Good People. We can help you with a framework to terminate your agreement (even if you didn’t hire through us), and find you a new nanny to ensure a smooth transition. We offer all of our families a trial period with a new nanny, and also plenty of support with the onboarding process, so you don’t have to worry about the same situation occurring again.


Be prepared for the transition

When you’re parting ways with a nanny, it’s important to be prepared for the transition. Talk to your children in a way that is appropriate for their age, and explain honestly why the nanny is no longer with you. It’s common to experience some upheaval, and it will help to make sure that your children understand that they’re not at fault and things will soon settle down.



At Good People we’re here to help you and your family find a way through, adjust, and then find the perfect fit for your family.

Good People is a domestic staffing agency specialising in introducing high quality household assistance. We provide a simple, fast and professional service to recruit trained and vetted staff who match your family values. To discuss what we can do for you, or to join the Good People Club, get in touch.


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